


One Week

by phanatic_bandgirl



Category: Buzzfeed Unsolved (Web Series)
Genre: Ghoul Boys, M/M, Ryan Bergara Being an Idiot, Ryan Bergara Loves Shane Madej, Ryan is jealous, Shane Madej Is So Whipped, Shane is dumb, Songfic, This Is Why We Can't Have Nice Things, bare naked ladies, ghoulfriends, its a song dont be weird, shayan
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-21
Updated: 2018-11-21
Packaged: 2019-08-26 22:57:08
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,515
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16690528
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/phanatic_bandgirl/pseuds/phanatic_bandgirl
Summary: Loosely based on the song One Week by The Bare Naked Ladies. Ryan is jealous and doesn't have time for Shane's shit. Shane could have been a little more helpful but he wasn't, so his spine will suffer. Don't flirt with Shane Madej or Ryan will come for your ass, you've been warned.





	One Week

_It's been one week since you looked_

_at me Cocked your head to the side_

_and said I'm angry_

 

It was a struggle getting into their apartment. Both angry and seething. Neither of the two wanted to touch each other but simultaneously wanted to body slam the other until they cried 'uncle'.

 This fight was the stupidest thing Shane had ever engaged in, of all the things to fight about, _this_ was the breaking point.

 Shane made it through the door first but knew that Ryan was close behind because the loud slam of the door echoed throughout the apartment. Shane took a deep breath. He knew. He knew where this was going.

 "Are we really doing this right now, Ryan?" Shane's voice came off snippier then he'd originally intended, but fuck it. If Ryan wanted a fire, he'd bring the god damn gasoline.

"We're not doing anything, Shane." Ryan snapped, shoving past him to power walk down the hallway to their bedroom.

 "You know I might believe you if you didn't roll your eyes every two seconds."

Ryan whirled around, "Excuse me, but I really don't think you're the one who gets to be upset here!"

"Oh, you don't? Huh, shocker, Ryan thinks Shane should apologize for something he has no control over! Somebody, call the presses!" Shane knew he should be disarming the situation, but sometimes it was fun to fight with Ryan. Amusing, in some weird way.

"Really, Shane? You wanna play the guilt card? Right now? Why am I not surprised?” Ryan laughed but it lacked humor. "I'm going to bed." Ryan flung the door to their room open and slammed it close again.

Shane was far from done, opened his mouth to reiterate that when the bedroom door opened once again.

 Ryan stuck his head out and chucked a pillow at Shane's head. "Have fun on the couch, sweetie!"

Shane caught the pillow right before it hit him square in the face. He rolled his eyes, but the door slammed once more and shut down whatever his rebuttal might have been. Shane shook his head and walked toward the couch. He fluffed the pillow, though it would do nothing to help his gangly ass from developing a crick come morning. It's not even that Shane wants to fight, in fact, the fight he and Ryan are currently in is dumb. Unbelievably dumb. Dumb like Ryan’s theory that Amelia Earhart is now part of the underwater civilization of Atlantis dumb.

Once Ryan gets these thoughts in his head though, it’s a lost cause, so Shane might as well get some fun out of it. Plus, Ryan’s cute when he's mad. Makeup sex doesn’t hurt either, Shane thought as he drifted off to land where his boyfriend wasn't an idiot.

_How can I help it if I think you're funny when you're mad_

_Trying hard not to smile though I feel bad_

_I'm the kind of guy who laughs at a funeral_

_Can't understand what I mean?_

_Well, you soon will_

Shane woke up, taking a minute to figure out why exactly he was on the couch. When he remembered his fight with Ryan, he groaned and shoved his face back into the pillow. He kind of wanted to forget about this whole thing and just go cuddle with his cute and idiotic boyfriend, but alas Ryan was not as forgiving or charitable as Shane was. Probably a Midwest thing.

Shane heard Ryan getting ready for work and sighed because he knew he needed to do the same. His spine groaned in protest as he attempted to get up. He thought it was unfair that the taller of the two got stuck on a couch made for a midget.

Shane walked into the kitchen to see Ryan making coffee. He tried to do what he should have done yesterday and stop the fight before it started. “Ry, I know you’re mad, but I really didn’t have anything to do with it.”

Ryan frowned like he was considering his options. Once he decided on the emotion to let loose, he threw his hands up in the air and Shane knew that he was not gonna be forgiven today.

“Shane I’m more than just mad. Like, you don’t even understand. I know that it’s not your fault I do. But that lady just plopped down on your lap and shoved her boobs up your nose, and I know you didn’t interact with her, but you didn’t really discourage her, either!” Ryan was pacing around the small kitchen, unnerved and shaky, and a big part of Shane did feel bad.

Yesterday, they had to film a video for The Test Friends and it was snail facials. All was going well until the snail lady? Snail Keeper? Keeper of the snails started flirting with Shane. Shane is an awkward human on an atomic level and frankly had no idea how to discourage her advantages without yelling out a harsh “STOP!” Now Ryan was pissed, and he wished he would have just thrown the blue-haired lady off his lap and avoided this whole situation.

“I didn’t mean to not do anything, as shitty as that sounds.” Shane began to plead his case. “I-I just didn’t know how to handle the situation without seeming like a dick.”

Ryan was silent for a beat too long, “Well you should be thankful for Jen because, without her, your “situation” would have ended up sucking your dick.”

“Ryan, I really didn’t mean to like encourage her, I just, I don’t know didn’t realize it would hurt your feelings so much.” Shane gave Ryan a small smile, hoping that maybe this would be the end of it.

Ryan groaned and shoved his face into his hands. “The worst part is you’re so cute and literally everything you say makes me want to forgive you.”

Shane took a step closer to Ryan, thinking that this was it. Forgiveness was on the horizon.

“And god, it pisses me off!” Ryan huffed loudly. “God damn it, Madej, you and your fucking puppy dog eyes.”

Shane’s hopes were gone just like his dignity.

 Ryan tossed his car keys to Shane, “Here take the car, I’m gonna take a Lyft to work.” Ryan walked past Shane and breezed out the door.

Shane sighed. God damn it, Bergara.

 

_It's been one week since you looked at me_ __  
Dropped your arms to your sides and said I'm sorry  
Five days since I laughed at you and said  
You just did just what I thought you were gonna do  
Three days since the living room  
We realized we're both to blame, but what could we do?  
Yesterday you just smiled at me  
Cause it'll still be two days till we say we're sorry

The next day passed in a similar fashion but by the time it was time to go to bed, Ryan walked into the living room. Looking sheepish and starring at the ground, Shane, long past the point of being angry and just wanting to sleep with his boyfriend, sat up on the couch, giving Ryan is full attention.

“Shane?” Ryan’s voice was soft.

A wave of relief washed over his body, as finally, it was over. He was forgiven. He loved Ryan so much and even if Ryan told him he had just murdered a bus full of nuns, he would still kiss him and help hide the bodies.

“I’m sorry for being jealous, and a prick, and stupid, and well, just sorry, in general.” Ryan looked at Shane, his eyelashes casting a shadow over his apologetic eyes.

Shane stood immediately, enough time had been wasted. “It really is okay, Ry. For what it’s worth, I’m still sorry.”

Ryan smiled at Shane, and low and behold it was like the sun had shown it’s heavenly face after days of rain.

“We’re dumb,” Ryan mumbled, wrapping his arms around Shane. He missed his dumb, tree trunk boyfriend.

“We are.” Shane agreed, placing a soft kiss on the top of Ryan’s head. “I kinda like it though.”

“Me too.” Ryan looked up and smiled at Shane. “I love you, even if you’re dumb.”

“And I love you, even if you are short.” Shane grinned wildly at his boyfriend.

“That’s a fucked-up thing to say!” Ryan shouted, but he laughed wildly.

“Do you wanna sleep with me tonight?” Ryan asked, voice quiet but his smile remained, large and bright.

Shane looked over the couch and rubbed his chin as if he was contemplating whether or not he wanted to spend another cold night alone when his perfectly warm and adorable boyfriend was offering cuddle with him.

Shane gave him a wicked grin, grabbing his hand, and practically sprinting to their room. “Last one there’s a rotten egg!”

Ryan ran behind him, laughing all the way.

_You just did just what I thought you were gonna do_ __  
Three days since the living room  
We realized we're both to blame, but what could we do?  
Yesterday you just smiled at me  
Cause it'll still be two days till we say we're sorry

**Author's Note:**

> One Week is a very good song I recommend. Go listen. It came out in 2001 or something, like what are you doing.


End file.
